Hot Stars Who Got Gross And Forgot To Shave

Human beings have been shaving since long before they even invented razors, sometimes using sharp shells or stones to remove hair. Shells! Think about that for a minute next time you’re in the shower all up in your junk with that fancy trimmer. Cave paintings even show Neanderthals plucking out their hairs with sharpened flint, and those guys were hairy AF, so you know that wasn’t easy. Around 3000 BC, humans figured out how to make primitive copper razors and it’s been a part of our grooming habits ever since.

It’s the ancient Egyptians we have to thank for our modern-day association between hair (rather, lack of) and cleanliness. Those guys — and gals — were considered to be almost overly-focused on hygiene, which is saying a lot since the toilet wouldn’t be invented for thousands of years after their great civilization died off. Still, it’s not like they had shampoo back then, plus it was like 170 degrees in the shade down by the Nile so it makes sense they shaved their heads. Most of the plebs had to do their own shaving, but you were really ballin’ in ancient Egypt if you had your own barber at the house to do your shaving for you.

A man can spend 3000 hours shaving over the course of his entire lifetime. Sometimes ain’t nobody got time for that, as evidenced by the following stars who said “screw it, I’m letting it all hang out.”

№1 Beyonce’s Busted Pits

Why is Beyonce even on this list. WHY.

At the premiere of Cadillac Records way back in 2008, Bey gave us the dreaded unshaven pit/deodorant ball combo on the red carpet. It is reported a frightened onlooker said “Beyonce always looks her best at these kind of events. She obviously either ran out of razors or just missed a bit in the bathroom.” Dear God, y’all act like she personally ran over a bucket of puppies, it’s only a little hair! OK, and some gross deodorant.

 

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№1 Beyonce’s Busted Pits

“I have been saying for a long time now that I wanted to do something dark. This was a scary and dark role. People are going to be very shocked. It is the complete opposite of me. It was emotionally draining,” she said about her role in the movie. Oh, you thought she said that about her shocking armpit hair? Yeah, nah.

 

№2 Jemima Kirke Feels French

Like her little sister Lola, Jemima Kirke — best known for her work on HBO’s Girls — DGAF what you think about her hairy armpits. And why should she, she’s hot.

Still, the Internet went after her for letting her pit flag fly at the CFDA Fashion Awards in 2015. Because y’all have way too much time on your hands and need to worry about your own underarms. “It’s just my own personal preference. That being said please can we stop talking about pits?” she tweeted, attaching a photo of infamous hairy armpit fan Sophia Loren.

№2 Jemima Kirke Feels French

She told the NY Daily News that her lil sis Lola actually inspired her to grow out. “I only recently started doing it because my sister did it first and I was like, ‘That looks good! I want to do that.’ Now I’ve had it for a year or so and I love it … I feel very French.”

 

№3 Sophia Loren, European Goddess

Sophia Loren is easily the best thing to come out of Italy since the guy who invented the ice cream cone (trivia factoid: Its inventor was Italo Marchiony, who emigrated to New York City in the late 1800s), and if you disagree then we probably can’t be friends. Come on, how many 72-year-old ladies do you know who can pose in their underwear and look sexy AF? That’s what I thought.

№3 Sophia Loren, European Goddess

To be fair, she’s European, and the ladies aren’t as militant as American women about shaving those pits, at least they weren’t back in Ms. Loren’s heyday. Speaking of that heyday, she absolutely owned her hairy pits throughout her career.

Now that unshaven armpits are kinda a thing, young ladies have Ms. Loren to thank for making them so darn beautiful. She didn’t forget to shave, she told shaving to forget it.

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